Practical strategies for healthy communication
Picture this: you’re sitting at a coffee shop with a friend, sharing something that’s important to you. As you’re talking, you notice their eyes wandering to the people passing by or the TV that’s playing in the background. They nod occasionally, but don’t seem fully engaged. How does that make you feel? Likely ignored, frustrated, and maybe even a little hurt.
Moments like this remind us of the importance of healthy communication in our relationships- it helps us feel understood, appreciated, and connected.
Communicating well isn’t just about expressing yourself, it’s also about listening with intention.
When we communicate well, we create space for stronger bonds, and as social beings, those connections are essential for our well-being. Below are tips and strategies to enhance your communication skills and create a space where everyone is heard and respected.
How to navigate difficult conversations
Bringing up difficult topics can be uncomfortable, especially if you’re worried it might lead to a disagreement. But avoiding those conversations often creates tension over time, putting a strain on the relationship. Instead, try using these strategies:
Describe the situation with facts: focus on what happened without letting emotions or assumptions take over. Being objective helps keep the conversation fair.
Use “I-statements’: instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try “I feel unheard when our conversations are interrupted.” This approach reduces blame and encourages understanding.
Propose a solution: offer a solution by suggesting an alternative to the current behavior or situation. You could say, “What I would like to see is for us to have conversations without distractions- no phones, TV, etc. How would you feel about trying that?” This approach incorporates the use of ‘I-statements,’ and by asking how the other person feels, you’re creating room for collaboration.
Explain the benefits: share how the suggested changes could create positive outcomes for both of you. This could look like saying, “I believe we’d both be able to communicate in a better way if we eliminate distractions.”
For example, if you’re upset that someone wasn’t paying attention during a conversation, you could implement these strategies by saying:
“When I was telling you about my day earlier, it felt like I didn’t have your full attention because I noticed that your focus was divided on other people and the TV. I felt unimportant and a little hurt. It would mean a lot to me if we could talk without distractions, so I can feel heard and valued.”
How to be a better listener
On the other side of the conversation, being approached about a concern can feel uncomfortable. You might feel criticized or defensive. But instead of reacting, try to recognize how difficult it might be for the other person to bring it up. To listen more effectively, try these steps:
Pause and focus on their words: Take a moment to process and understand what they’re saying without interrupting or immediately reacting.
Reflect on their feelings: show you’re listening by paraphrasing their emotions or concerns. Phrases like, “I hear that you feel…” or “I understand that this upset you because…” are helpful.
Work together on a solution: once you’ve heard their perspective, discuss how you can move forward in a way that feels fair and respectful for everyone.
Using the earlier example, you could respond with:
“I can see that when I wasn’t fully focused on our conversation, it made you feel unimportant and hurt. I understand how that could feel that way. Moving forward, I’ll do my best to give you my full attention, and if I’m distracted for any reason, I’ll let you know in advance.”
This response shows empathy while taking responsibility and proposing a solution that works for both sides.
Relationships thrive when people feel understood, respected, and valued. Whether it’s voicing your needs or listening to someone else’s, strong communication skills are key to building lasting connections. But it takes time and consistent effort to strengthen these skills, and it’s okay if you don’t get it right every time.
If you’re looking for extra support, we can help! Counselling offers a safe space to voice your feelings, work through different strategies, and learn new tools to handle these situations. Reach out to today!
Information for this blog post was provided by registered social workers, Sarah Rosenfeld and Denis Sushkin.