What you need to know about building strong relationships
Every great relationship starts with a solid foundation—but what’s the secret to making it last?
Building a lasting relationship takes more than just love; it requires continuous effort, patience, and understanding. It’s important to remember that each relationship is unique, so what works for one couple might not work for you and your partner. While there are no rules for a “perfect” relationship, there are certain habits and behaviors that can help pave the way for a healthy, successful partnership. Whether you're starting something new or looking to strengthen your existing bond, this blog can guide you towards creating a relationship that’s built to last.
Keep communication open and honest
Communicating well is the foundation of a successful relationship. It’s important to be open and honest with your partner about your feelings, needs, and concerns. This means actively listening to each other, asking questions for clarity, and making space for tough conversations. When both partners feel heard and valued, trust grows, and misunderstandings are less likely to create lasting rifts.
While the tougher conversations can feel uncomfortable or hard to navigate, there are ways you can respectively voice your feelings. Here are some communication strategies our counsellors suggest when having tougher conversations:
Speak kindly and respectfully.
Focus on using words that uplift and express your feelings without causing hurt.
Example: "I feel really stressed when I don’t have your help with the housework."Stay focused on the current issue.
Try not to bring up past arguments or unresolved conflicts when discussing a new issue.
Example: Instead of saying "This is just like last month when you...," try "Let’s focus on what’s happening right now."It's okay to pause the conversation.
Taking a break to calm down can help avoid saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment. Just make sure to return to the conversation later.
Example: "I need a little time to cool down. Can we talk about this in an hour?"Allow your partner to express their feelings.
Give your partner the space to share their emotions without assuming how they feel.
Example: "How are you feeling about this? I’d like to understand more."Work together to find solutions.
Focus on finding resolutions that feel fair and helpful to both of you.
Example: "How can we handle this in a way that works for both of us?"Take responsibility for your emotions and actions.
Recognize your own feelings and behaviours and share them openly.
Example: "I was upset earlier, and I realize I should have spoken more calmly."Welcome and respect each other’s differences.
Embrace your partner’s unique perspective as a way to grow together.
Example: "I see things differently, but I appreciate your point of view."Listen fully before responding.
Give your partner your full attention and respond thoughtfully after they’ve shared their thoughts.
Example: "I hear what you’re saying. Let me take a moment to think before I respond."Check that you’ve understood correctly.
Paraphrasing can show that you’re really listening and trying to understand.
Example: "So what I’m hearing is that you’re feeling unappreciated. Is that right?"Use love and care to guide your words.
Speak from a place of love, avoiding manipulation or ultimatums.
Example: "I care about you, and I want us to work through this together."
Set clear boundaries
You’ve probably heard about the importance of boundaries in healthy relationships, but what does that really mean?
Setting boundaries means defining what is and isn’t acceptable for you within your relationship. These boundaries will differ for everyone, and what feels okay for one person may be entirely unacceptable for another. Having conversations with your partner about boundaries early on ensures that each of you understands what’s expected, which helps avoid conflict and resentment later on.
If a boundary’s crossed, talk to your partner about how it made you feel. Addressing the issue shows respect for yourself and allows for healthier communication. A simple conversation could go like this: "It makes me feel _____ when you do ____. Could you try _____ instead?"
Understand that there’s give and take
It’s inevitable that you and your partner won’t always see eye to eye, and that’s perfectly okay. A healthy relationship requires understanding that sometimes you’ll both need to find a compromise.
When faced with disagreements, talk things through and explore alternative options together. The goal isn’t about winning or being right—it’s about finding a solution that works for both of you. Being open to meeting your partner halfway can make all the difference in setting your relationship up for lasting success.
Prioritize quality time
Life can get busy, but spending intentional, quality time together is key for a lasting relationship. Making time for each other shows that you value your partner and the relationship. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures—sometimes the smallest moments, like having dinner together, going for a walk, or just sitting down to talk, can mean the most.
By focusing on these habits and behaviours, you’ll lay the groundwork for a strong, fulfilling relationship that grows and evolves over time. But remember that it’s normal to have ups and downs in your relationship, and it’s okay to need extra help navigating that. Couples counselling is a great way to strengthen your bond and learn tools for improving your relationship. To learn more about the benefits of couples counselling, listen to our Living Fully podcast episode.